Time to move on.
It is just so damn ridiculous. That bugger had no idea of what I had told Razlan. How dare he say that I had not handle my job properly and started screaming and shouting at me! Is this how a boss should be? No control over his emotions!?
Guess my friend is right in saying that Mr. Dean had no professionalism or whatsoever. True, by screaming and shouting, one might get things done, but I am definately not going down that road.
Any offers of a job, anybody?
___________ my suicide ____________
|8:09 PM|
Sometimes, I am really tired of life.
Today, I am super pissed off. What seems to be is not what it is. Oh Well, learn live and forget it.
___________ my suicide ____________
|7:07 PM|
Whatever.. Just cant be bothered no longer.
I'm not the simple, naive girl of the past anymore..
Tell me something, I won't be so trusting any longer.. Proof and edvidence speaks more than honey words.
Talk is cheap, show me some actions. Words are free, anybody can just say it, but converting words to actions is tough. Not everyone is able to do it.
Some things (smoking) I had been saying I am quitting, but doing it is tough. Cigarettes had been my fren when everyone else left me. It's tough to want to give up this friend at the moment.
Sigh~ why must everything be so complicated when it's really very simple? Feel like just lying down and sleeping my life away - no worries at all..
Oh well, whatever!
And..
to those who wants to borrow money from me, sorry but i will no longer be lending any cash to anyone anymore.
Money lent out had never come back to me. Once bitten, twice shy.. conned of $2000+ by so-called friends over the past 2 years. Who else is there in the world to trust?
This goes to show we can only trust ourselves and no one else but ourselves.
Friends can walk away, lovers can become enemies, families can turn against one another.. It's a scary place that we are living in.
Materialism, I just don't understand why is everyone chasing after material things? Even when one may seem to have everything they want, they may not neccessarily be happy. Rather, the happiest people on Earth seemed to be the poorest people on Earth who don't hunger after power or material stuff.
I am born into the wrong era and the wrong country! Aargghh!!!
___________ my suicide ____________
|9:15 AM|
Money problems.. Haha.. Stupid Fadhil has not been found as yet.. He owed me $700+..
___________ my suicide ____________
|7:42 AM|
INGREDIENTS
8 chicken legs, halved
4 cloves garlic
1 tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
salt to taste
1/2 cup water
DIRECTIONS
In a large skillet, brown the chicken pieces in oil and cook for about 15 minutes over medium heat.
Crush garlic cloves and squeeze over chicken. Cover skillet and cook over low heat for 10 minutes each side. Remove cover, sprinkle with red pepper flakes and salt to taste, add water and simmer over low heat until water evaporates and the chicken pieces are sticky and yummy!
___________ my suicide ____________
|12:12 PM|
Hey guys! Thanks for all your concern and care shone upon me during the bleak moments of my life. Your little words of encouragement cheered me up on days when I am down and feeling alone. Thanks especially to the two guys - Alex and Billy who had taken time to keep me company when I really need company. I am blessed. Thanks to all of you that my life is finally back on the right track. =)
An amazing thing happened (credit goes to Billy)! I actually discovered a really old blog of mine which was created in 2004 (wan2bet.blogspot.com). Rereading those old entries of mine made me feel sad as it really seemed that the past Angelia is really gone. The impression I got from that writer was that she was naive, innocent, and is really a happy go lucky sort of person. However, reading my recent blog entries had made me realised that I had really became a bitter person full of hatred and pessimistic thinking. What do you guys think?
Anyway, things really seemed to be looking up for me soon after my birthday. (Thanks guys for celebrating my 21st even though I was in no mood for celebration, and thanks to those who wished me well on this special day ^o^). Why is that so? Well.. in regards to a few matters: finance, relationship, personal level, family, work.
Finance
I was desperately in need for cash ever since April and I was also in the red, borrowing from lots of people. However, at this point of time, my finances seemed to be looking up. Hooray!!! For the first time ever in 2007, my phone bill is fully paid for, I have a supply of contact lens all the way to December, my transport fees is paid for all the way to October, my groceries had been done for this month (August), and all my debts had been repaid. This made me happy as I no longer need to frown over money anymore. (I even have surplus cash to go on a holiday in Sept!!)
Relationship
In relationship wise, finally I had gotten the guy that I had always yearn for. Though he is in Malaysia now and will still be there in the future, I am prepared to join him when I get everything settled over here in Singapore. He being very good to me, and I feel so pampered and respected. The distance does not seem to pose any problems, and hopefully it will still continue on to be this way in the near future.
Personal
For me, looking back, the journey had been long. I had changed a lot since I was 18. I hoped to go back to the sweet, old me that I had been when I was 18, but I know that, that is no longer possible. Too much had happened in my life during this past 3 years. What is possible though is that I hoped to get back the good qualities that I used to have - the basis would be the responsible old me, something which had long been gone. Used to be a workacholic, I am not sure when or why I had become to someone who no longer cared. The memories of my past are vague, and most of my past, I can no longer recall. But, I do have some goals which I hoped to achieve now and the most urgent ones would be to quit smoking, to think positive once again, and well, to be responsible in whatever I do. Hopefully, I will be able to achieve all of these by December =)
Family
Relations with my mum and my brother is slowly improving. No longer defiant anymore, our relations had really improved a lot. My brother and I are finally back on talking terms, and my mum had become more of a friend than an enemy. I am happy with this turnabout, and hopefully things will just get better.
Work
I had known for a very long time that I am just not cut out for tuition. It's not that I cannot teach or whatsoever, but rather, when I am teaching, I get so bored during the 1 1/2hrs I am over at my student's house. The money is good, yes. But then once again, so what? It's definately not my cup of tea. I miss the times I had over in Mos Burger, the friendships that were formed, the good memories. The happiness, the short moments of anger and the chilling out sessions after closing time. That is more in my charactor. I love the hectiness of the peak hours, the interactions with my collegues and customers, and of course, the regularity of hours and the on-time salary. I just don't get that doing tuition. Parents have feedback to me that their kids just love me, and their results improve quite dramatically once I have tutored them, but then I don't really get the satisfaction in all that. Sigh~ to be able to excel in a job which I don't like, when others just can't excel in the job they love. How lame is that!? Lol.
So, with the turning of my age, the transition from a teenager to a full fledged adult, things are finally looking up for me, and I predict more positive things to come my way.
Addidos!
With love,
Angelia
___________ my suicide ____________
|10:41 AM|
___________ my suicide ____________
|10:39 AM|
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